The Nutcracker Gets a Smackdown

I finally have tired of this silly fool starting nonsense with me. The Nutcracker is finally going to feel the cracking of his own balls by the time I'm done with him.

He is a visiting post doc who has been fortunate enough to have been allowed to set up his own lab space and do some research. One particular project is one that I had been working on but walked away from after he resorted to calling me an "f-ing idiot" one day when things were not going as he had planned. The horrible part, though, was that I have still had to work for him as his TA for the remainder of this semester. And he sends these hostile emails, harassing me about silly nonsense

All he had to do to take the project back and continue collecting data "legally" was to file some paperwork with our school's research office. He has refused to do it instead opting to continue the project secretly while still using my name as lead researcher. I told him to either stop collecting data or file the proper paperwork otherwise I'd be reporting him. He finally filed the paperwork when I gave him a deadline. But he sent a vicious email (because he is too stupid to avoid putting things in writing) and it was enough for me to go on the offensive.

I sent back a masterful work, very professional but firm, telling him that his hostile abuse and harassment were unacceptable and I would no longer tolerate one minute of it. I explained that I had tried my best to be the best TA and researcher that I could even through all of the verbal and written bashing. Nevertheless, I told him that enough was enough and that I would be reporting him to the research office, the graduate school and the college for all of his transgressions.

He has yet to respond.

Stay tuned....

The Nutcracker

I've been away for far too long but now I'm back with a vengeance. I hadn't had too much to say here in recent months because I got assigned to TA for Divarrhea and she has been angel. She is the complete opposite of Whisper so fall semester was a blissful, beautiful graduate teaching assistant's dream. Unfortunately, this semester my assignment got split up between Divarrhea and the new guy who I'm calling "The Nutcracker."

He has earned his name because 1) he is a relentless, badgering, pain-in-the-ass and 2) he is completely uncouth (he called me a "ballbreaker" the very first day he met me). Keep in mind that this was within the first few minutes of meeting me and all I did was ask for clarification about a minor point on his course syllabus. I bristled on the inside but managed to keep my mouth shut at the time. Since then, though, it has all been down hill. I'm about to go pure Jericha on his fat ass.

The Nutcracker is, like Whisper, a newly minted Ph.D. on a major power trip. However, unlike Whisper, The Nutcracker is not passive-aggressive. He's just plain aggressive. He is huge (both tall and wide), has a loud, foul mouth, dresses like a homeless person, and reeks of unwashed testicles. His pungent odor fills the room and, let me tell you, it's as vile as his personality. I'm back in TA hell.

Stupid assistantship.

September 25

So far this semester, Divarrhea has been a blessing. There is very little grading so far, she puts the class exams online, and she isn't contacting me every minute with stupid crap. In fact, she really doesn't contact me at all unless I reach out first.

What a relief! Last year with Whisper was such a damn nightmare and I expected that Divarrhea was going to be a bit of a pain herself but it just isn't the case.

It's a good thing, too, because my grad program sucks.

September 1

Divarrhea finally responded to my email and apologized for missing our meeting last week. I'm covering for her tomorrow so it'll be my first chance to meet her students. It will be interesting to see if they're as retarded as the one's I've encountered in Whisper's classes.

My guess is that the students will be as "challenged" as Whisper's were. After all, it's the same university, same major and possibly many of the same students. Sigh.

August 28

Divarrhea was a no show for our meeting this afternoon. Frankly, I don't much care and wasn't at all aggravated as much as relieved. Having to be all smiles and phony sweet is exhausting so she actually did me a favor.

I left a friendly note on her door and emailed her just to let her know that I held up my end and actually showed up. I need Divarrhea to like me and the best way to accomplish this is that she knows that I am reliable, trustworthy and respect her authority.

August 26

Met with Divarrhea and so far, so good. She seems very disorganized which cuts both ways. Disorganized and scatterbrained means that she's likely to forget about me most of the time. It also means that she's likely to think she told me something that she didn't and many other issues associated with disorganization.

She confirmed that I would likely be her TA for the entire year including summer. Let's hope she doesn't completely suck.

August 25

So, tomorrow is my first meeting with Divarrhea. I am so very afraid that this assignment is going to suck just as bad, if not worse, than dealing with Whisper.

Don't get me wrong, the fact that she's not Whisper gives me a little hope that I'll have the stamina to get through it even if she is a horrible shrew. The thing is, I don't know how much stamina exactly and this worries me.

Wish me luck.